Finding Help for a Loved One

Watching someone you care about struggle with addiction is painful. This guide offers considerations for families and friends who want to help.

Understanding Your Role

It's important to recognize what you can and cannot control:

• You cannot force recovery. Ultimately, the person must choose to seek help.
• You can offer support. Your encouragement and boundaries matter.
• You can educate yourself. Understanding addiction helps you respond effectively.
• You can take care of yourself. Your wellbeing matters too.

Starting the Conversation

If you're considering talking to your loved one about treatment:

• Choose a calm, private moment (not during a crisis or when they're intoxicated)
• Use "I" statements: "I'm worried about you" rather than "You have a problem"
• Be specific about behaviors you've observed, not character judgments
• Express care, not ultimatums (unless you're prepared to follow through)
• Have information ready about treatment options
• Be prepared for resistance—it often takes multiple conversations

Research Treatment Options

Being informed about options can help when your loved one is ready:

• Learn about different levels of care
• Research facilities in your area
• Understand insurance coverage and costs
• Know what questions to ask treatment programs

See our guide: How to Choose Treatment

Setting Boundaries

Healthy boundaries protect you while still offering support:

• Be clear: State your boundaries calmly and specifically
• Be consistent: Follow through on what you say
• Avoid enabling: Don't cover up consequences or make excuses
• Separate the person from the behavior: You can love someone while not accepting their behavior

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting someone with addiction takes a toll. Remember:

• You need support too—consider therapy or support groups for families
• Al-Anon and Nar-Anon offer support for families of those with addiction
• Set limits on how much time and energy you can give
• It's okay to ask for help

If They're Not Ready

If your loved one refuses help:

• Continue to express your concern and offer support
• Maintain your boundaries
• Keep the door open for future conversations
• Focus on what you can control—your own wellbeing
• Remember that people often need multiple opportunities before they're ready

Crisis Situations

If your loved one is in immediate danger:

• Call 911 for medical emergencies or if someone is in danger
• Call 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Learn to recognize signs of overdose
• Consider having naloxone (Narcan) available if opioids are involved